the semicolon project

This post is very inspiring and I hope you all read it. I’m tearing up because of this post. I don’t normally repost other work on my blog, but this had to be shared.


FullSizeRender-1FullSizeRender Today I went to a tattoo artist, and for $60 I let a man with a giant Jesus-tattoo on his head ink a semi-colon onto my wrist where it will stay until the day I die. By now, enough people have started asking questions that it made sense for me to start talking, and talking about things that aren’t particularly easy.

We’ll start here: a semi-colon is a place in a sentence where the author has the decision to stop with a period, but chooses not to. A semi-colon is a reminder to pause and then keep going. 

In April I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. By the beginning of May I was popping anti-depressents every morning with a breakfast I could barely stomach. In June, I had to leave a job I’d wanted since I first set foot on this campus as an incoming freshmen because of my mental…

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Paper Towns: the movie review

I just saw the movie “Paper Towns.” You know, the one based on John Green’s book? I wrote a review of the book here. Watching the movie, I had several different things I wanted to say about this book and movie adaptation. Since the time I read the book, I have read several different books and have done stuff since then. So I definitely have some things I would like to add to that review.

I have to say that the movie definitely portrayed what I thought the book was all about. MYSTERY!  I thought the book was all about the mystery of Margo and who she is. I remember saying that I did not like the character development. Well, that was also VERY clear in the movie. Although Quentin did change somewhat over the course of the movie, I was very disappointed with him. He was still that very boring person I hated in the beginning of chapter one.

I saw this movie with my mom and let me just tell you this. She tends to talk sometimes during the movie. One thing she said was how she didn’t like these stories with these spoiled rich kids. I do agree with her in this matter. I mean, some kids couldn’t even afford to run away. They dream of making more money and then running away. With Margo, she was just able to run away, without a plan. I mean, she totally said at the end of the movie that she wasn’t going to go get a job and live the boring paper life. So what was she going to do? Live off her parents’ money and then maybe go rob a bank? (Wouldn’t be it past her either.)

This movie was kind of boring and left me wanting more. I didn’t think it was a good book in the first place. If they were going to do a John Green movie adaptation, why couldn’t it have been “Looking For Alaska”???!!! I liked the changes that they did make, with one exception. I was kind of sad that the group didn’t get to meet Margo at the end. I mean, we could have had Margo’s friend really hashing it out with Margo. Margo did send them on a wild goose chase. Even though she didn’t really mean it, I think it was still kind of messed up of her that she chose to be this mystery, instead of being something substantial.

As for the actors portraying the characters, I have to say that they did an amazing job portraying this boring story. I loved how the disappearance of Margo led these kids to befriend each other. Margo may have been very elusive and mysterious, but her actions sparked life into the people she knew. Maybe some people need a Margo in their life to get that spark growing.

This book/movie had so much promise of greatness, but it failed to deliver. I love coming of age stories, but this was the worst example. It did have that symbol of Margo, of mystery, but everything else about it felt only half assed. I’m not going to say that you shouldn’t watch the movie. I’m just going to say that maybe you should wait for it to come out on DVD. It’s not worth the $12 or however much you pay to get into the movie theater.

I will give this movie 4/5 stars, since it did overpower the book a little bit.

I also want to add the fact that I did love the concept of “Paper Towns.” When Margo was talking about their town being paper and how she felt like there was no one interesting in it really hit me. And then when she says that she might be a paper girl as well, I thought that was kind of profound. Everyone is beautiful on paper, but we are so much more than what it says about us. There is depth and duplicity. I felt like that line from Doctor Who:

“You know when, sometimes you meet someone so beautiful, and then you actually talk to them and five minutes later, they’re as dull as a brick? Then there’s other people, and you meet them and you think, ‘Not bad; they’re okay.’ And then you get to know them, and their face sort of becomes them, like their personality is written all over it. And they just turn into something so beautiful. Rory’s the most beautiful man I’ve ever met.” – Amelia Pond

They didn’t bring up the fact that Quentin wanted to save Margo. He thought she was going to commit suicide. They never brought that into the story. I kind of understand maybe that it would have been too much for the movie, but I think they overlooked the importance of that. It wasn’t just a lovers quest that Quentin was on. He really did think that Margo was going to kill herself. And the scene when he waited to talk to the teacher. I thought he was going to ask about the “Leaves of Grass” book. It didn’t seem that big of a scene to me.

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Inside Out: I’m so sad! :)

Hello fellow readers!

Here is a post that has been in my brain for a few weeks. I recently saw the movie “Inside Out” and I have to say that I have plenty of mixed…. feelings about it. That was funny. Anyways, I wanted to make a post about this movie because it was so meaningful to me.

I loved Sadness! I mean, maybe that is kind of saying something about my frame of mind, but whatever. Plenty of my friends said they were so annoyed with her in the beginning, but I loved her from the start. She was the most insightful piece of work that Riley had going for her. I just hated when Joy would put her down and stuff. We can’t all be happy all the time. If we were, we would be crazy.

Growing up is all about balancing these feelings. Maybe from Joy’s perspective, Sadness was the annoying one. But I thought it was really unfair how Sadness was being treated. One thing that stood out the most was the fact that the other feelings were only secondary characters. Maybe that’s how it is in real life, but maybe there could have been more …. personality to those feelings.

The representation of mental illness in this movie was fantastic. We don’t normally get to see a semi rational explanation for being depressed. I think adults went in thinking it was going to be a fun filled movie their five year old kid could watch for an hour so they would quiet down, but it was more of a kid movie aimed at adults. I’ve always thought that kids movies held deeper meaning. They are meant for kids, so that they have a foundation to develop their personalities.

Also, did you guys see how they foreshadowed the ending with the mother? When we got into her head, Sadness was the one leading the group. I deeply feel like sadness is the brain’s way of recognizing what is happy. Like you can’t have happiness without the knowledge of being sad. I guess I’m trying to get at the appreciation of life and how lucky we are to be alive.

I hope you liked this post and remember to like and share this post!

Game. Of. Friggin’. Thrones: Jillian takes the watch

I have been wanting to blog about this topic for a while now. Honestly, I have been kind of lazy and not wanting to do actual work. Writing, above all else, does not come easy. When I write for school, it always seems to sound like some really bored librarian who has lost interest in their job. Or that lady from Monsters Inc…. for the life of me I cannot remember her name. You know, the one who always asked Mike for his paperwork? Yeah, that one. i definitely try to sound like I’m talking to you guys, since you guys come to my blog because of my personality.

Anyways, back on subject. Game. Of. Friggin’. Thrones!

I started the series back in my second year of college. I’ve been out of college for a year, so basically it’s been three years. My roommate … or apartment mate… Sarah, introduced me to the series. I borrowed her copy, but would soon find out that the book would take me some time to finish. So I bought my own copy and have since bought the entire series. Let me just say that I refused to watch the show until I read the first book. I took about six months to finish the first book.  By then I really wanted to call it quits, but I just had to continue. I’m such a wuss sometimes.

It would basically go like this. I would read the book, then watch the TV show. By the time I finished each book, the past season would be in a box set. I have so far gotten to the fifth book, “A Dance With Dragons” and I’m only half way through the book. Honestly, I don’t really spend that much time reading it. I spend a ton of time dreading picking it up.

i dread picking it up because it is so dense. I feel accomplished even reading twenty pages in one sitting. I mean, to some people (non-readers) that might not seem so bad. But when I normally can breeze through a book in two days or less, that is saying something.

There are so many things that are different in comparisons between the book and TV show. I will say this now. This post may contain spoilers…. so if you hate those, then you might not want to read on.

– Tyrion was supposed to lose his nose!!!!! (seriously, why did they cut this?!)
– Rob’s wife (her name was Jeyne in the books) was not supposed to die in the Red Wedding. Her mother made a deal with Tywin to get her out of that one.
– Jamie was not supposed to be there at the wedding.
– Danaerys was so much more annoying in the books… just saying.
– I loved Jamie better in the books.

These things were what really aggravated me about the show. There were other things that were not correct in the TV show, but I will not say those ones because they weren’t as aggravating as the ones above. Overall, the series is a pain in my ass. I have yet to watch the fifth season, solely because I have yet to finish the fifth book. I know the fifth season goes past the fifth book, so I don’t know if I want to finish the TV show. I mean, I love to picture what is happening first, before it is corrupted by the images in the TV show. I am a book purist.

I will definitely sit there and criticize what is going on in the TV show. The books are so hard to read, sometimes information slips through the crack.  I do prefer the book over the show, only because of the character developments. I do tend to throw my books across the room whenever I get really pissed off at the story. If I ever meet George R. R. Martin, I would love to slap him in the face. Although I probably won’t have the guts.

Can we just admit that Tyrion is such a badass in this scene? I seriously root for him the whole time. I think what intrigues me the most about Game of Thrones is that the characters aren’t just black and white. There is no good or bad. They all have qualities that you hate and ones that you love. Like Eddard Stark. I loved him, but he also had some bad stuff about him. He wasn’t just the good guy. No one in this series is a good guy. Sometimes I think at this point George R. R. Martin is just recycling all of his ideas. Anyways, that is beside the point.

I love Jamie Lannister in the books because he grows into someone I love. I mean, sure, he pushed Bran off the window, raped his sister, and killed the king. But he feels bad about those things. He is a flawed character that I just want to hug. They don’t give him justice in the show. Everyone who just watches the show thinks I’m weird for liking Jamie. Also Tyrion was more amazing in the books… not that he’s not awesome in the show. He’s just more… awesome-er?

I just wanted to put this here because don’t they look alike? The left one is Joey Armstrong, from Swimmers.

So overall, the series is quite annoying. But I still follow it. And screw everyone who spoiled the fifth season for me. I wuuuuv Jon Snow… just saying. Although at one point (the fourth book) I wanted to strangle him myself. If you read the fourth book, you’ll know why.

“We All Looked Up” by Tommy Wallach book review

Here it goes. Another book review! Most of the time I read books in a series, so I normally will wait to write a review. So here is a book that is a stand alone novel. It’s called “We All Looked Up” by Tommy Wallach. I am pretty excited to start this review because I feel like I need to keep up the posts if I want to make this an epic blog to read. Seriously though. My dream is to be able to show this blog to publishing companies and get noticed. So if you are just joining me on this blog, I hope you like what you read.

I have a huge to be read list. I wasn’t even going to tackle this book until I heard that the author was going to be at a bookstore in SF that day. So I hastily tried to finish the book before I went to the event. I only got through half the book before I had to go, but I had some massive questions. When I got to the event, it turned out that the author was just performing his songs from the book. Wallach produced an album to go along with the book. I actually enjoyed the songs and would recommend you to actually listen to it.

Before I get to the actual signing, I will tell you about this book. It centers on these high school kids from Seattle. They are from different social groups and seem to walk on egg shells around each other. They find out that there is an asteroid coming to Earth that has a 66.6% chance of obliterating the Earth (more on that number later.) These kids experience what it’s like when the world goes haywire. It begs the question of “why is math important?” I mean, if you are going to die in two months, why should you even bother with school?

I don’t normally tab quotes that stick with me while I’m reading, but I felt like I had to. My copy of the book is filled with green tabs on the side of the book. I want to share with you some of the meaningful quotes I found in this book. They won’t be filled with spoilers. They will be an introspective look on what it means to be human and all of that philosophical stuff.

“The best books, they don’t talk about things you never thought about before. They talk about things you’d always thought about, but that you didn’t think anyone else had thought about. You read them, and suddenly you’re a little bit less alone in the world. You’re part of this cosmic community of people who’ve thought about this thing, whatever it happens to be.”

This really struck me as a reader and a lover of books. If you think about the best book you have read, you can see this to be true. These books affirm your feelings that what you are thinking is correct. I’m not saying that they don’t test your thoughts, but they make you feel like you are a valid human being on this planet for having those thoughts. You connect with it in any shape, which is why you love it so much.

“And Edmund Burke, who was kinda like a more boring version of Dylan back in the eighteenth century, said that those who have much to hope and nothing to lose will always be dangerous. Well, a lot of people in the world have just started thinking that they don’t have anything left to lose, and it’s our job to protect you from them. I don’t want to scare you, but history tells us that whenever there’s panic, there’s death. It’s the way of the world.”

I thought that this was very symbolic of what is going on in the book. If there was a high chance that the world was going to end in two weeks, what would you do? You have nothing to lose, so why not do the thing you’ve always wanted to do?  You could bring religion into it, but most people wouldn’t even give it a thought. I am totally sure that some people would lose faith and just murder and steal. It is the way of the world.

I loved this book because it got me wondering about the world and our purpose in this life. The characters were very well written, that I rooted for each one. My favorite character is Anita. She totally changed her destiny. The asteroid gave her the chance to stand up to her parents and show her classmates who she really is. Everyone was so surprised when she would do something different, but she didn’t really care. Sometimes people have a certain view of you and maybe that’s not really how you are. I love the idea of testing that and not being what people want me to be.

My only criticism is that the intertwining of characters’ points of view were kind of irritating. It seemed like the author was trying too hard sometimes. Other than that, this book is a must read. I hope it makes it to the big screen. I think people need to read more books like this in order to help them view their own lives in a different light.

Onto the signing part!

Here is the part that I really wanted to mention. I have been to a bunch of different signings for authors. This was the first signing in which there was literally not that many people. I went there thinking that there would be more people, but I was sorely disappointed. It seemed like I was one of the only people the author didn’t know personally. Everyone who went seemed to know him personally.

The author talked about how this was his first YA novel and how he did a little research on the subject. I would have never guessed it was his first. I went in expecting that the author was some sophisticated writer who was maybe getting paid big money from the publishing company. I was sorely mistaken. I guess he was just like any writer you see on TV. He was pretty cool though. I loved the fact that he made an album to the book.

I asked him about the 66.6% and if he was afraid at first that he was hitting it too on the nose. He said that he didn’t realize the significance until he published it. Seriously, that would’ve been my first thought when writing something like that. He also talked about how he had to write the second half twice, since he “doesn’t write good.” It’s always inspiring to me to know that writers can think their writing sucks. I’m always criticizing my own writing and it always felt like every other writer, especially those in my graduating class at SFSU, were way better at it than I am. I always thought my writing sounded like that of a five year old. Maybe that is only cause I’m reading it in my voice. You never know.

When I got my book signed, I had a ten dollar bill as a bookmark. It was a Macau dollar, which are called “Patacas.” The author wrote “Dez Patacas! (Which means I love you. I think.)” I had to laugh at that. I had to share that with you guys. It’s too funny!


Anyways, I hope you guys decide to read this book. It was amazing and just… ahhh! I did cry a little… just so you know. 4.5/5 stars!