Meeting Billie Joe Armstrong (Green Day)

10624585_10203402076306057_7734583496408012269_n

Today, I have achieved the dream I have had for ten years. To get a picture with Billie Joe Armstrong of Green Day. This guy has changed my life in ways I could never really explain to myself. I have actually met him before, but I didn’t get a picture that time. Well, except for the picture above, when I got to mosh with him. Here is the photo that I took today:

1958503_10203724759412933_7457440815694393776_n

I saw the US premier of his movie, “Like Sunday, Like Rain” at the Mills Valley Film Festival. The movie was really good. Billie Joe stars as this crazy musician who is dating this girl, Eleanor, played by Leighton Meester, who finally dumps him after realizing how fed up she is with her situation. Billie Joe definitely plays the dick boyfriend well. I’m sure if I didn’t know anything about him and saw him on the street, I probably would get that vibe from him. The movie was one of those movies that is a sum of its parts. The movie seemed slow at first, but towards the end, we kind of get this really nice, almost wistful ending. It is a must see, if you ever get the chance to see it.

After the show, they had a Q&A with the director, the producer, Billie Joe, and Leighton. The questions were mainly focused on the director, and there weren’t that many questions. Supposedly the director/writer originally wrote a scene where Billie Joe’s character would go on a shooting spree. Unfortunately, he had to take the scene out. I actually thought that was the feel of what it was building towards. We were sitting in the front row, so we got an unobstructed view of the panel. Billie Joe seemed kind of spaced out.

After the Q&A, there was an after party. When we got there, people were already taking pictures with Billie Joe. My friend Sandra and I basically creeped by them, because we were so nervous. We ended up talking to Adrienne, Billie Joe’s wife. We wished her a happy birthday and discussed Emily’s Army. She is one of the most down to Earth people I have met. Later on Sandra actually went up to Billie Joe and talked to him. While my friends talked and got pictures, I could only muster up the courage to say that I wanted a picture. I basically just thanked him for taking the photo with me. I think he was slightly amused, however, since he is taller than me. He leaned his head in towards me… and I was basically in heaven.

I got to talk to Leighton for a second. As you may know, she was in the movie “Country Strong.” You should seeĀ it, since it is a really good movie. She has a great voice. Apparently she is working on something, which is coming out soon. The lady she was talking to before I interrupted her said that Leighton thought I was sweet and that she gets shy when answering questions. I wanted to ask Billie Joe how stage acting feels different than movie acting, since he was in “American Idiot.” I wish I could’ve asked that, but I was too shy. Billie Joe actually got Adrienne a cake and sang Happy Birthday to her.

10410511_10203725261065474_7856154348713513700_n

This was my attempt to get a picture of them hugging when Billie Joe gave her the cake. It was so sweet. I even got to ask the director how many drafts there were and how he knew what to cut. I was so nervous. This experience was so amazing and I am glad that I didn’t back down from going.

Now that I have achieved my goal, I don’t know where to go from here. It seems crazy that I would have had this experience. I’m sure if you told my 15 year old self that I would someday get a legit picture with Billie Joe, she would have told you that you were crazy.

Anyways, I just thought I would post a quick blog post about tonight. I might blog more on the subject later, but for now, this is what I’ll give you.

~ Jillian

Advertisements

Depression talks

Depression can be hard. You can go through your day having the time of your life, then it can just hit you like a ton of bricks. Sometimes I wonder if I’m worth the fuss. It doesn’t seem like anybody goes out of their way to hang out with me. I’m not first on anybody’s list, but mine. Am I so selfish that nobody wants to think about me??? I don’t know if that makes sense world, but it does to me. If you want to read a blog about uplifting rants about how to overcome depression, well you have wasted your time. I have gone about three years pretending that I don’t have depression anymore. But who am I fooling? I sat in my bed all night thinking about how I could literally just go days without talking to anybody but my mom and sisters… all because no one seems to think of me. What good is having a phone when you barely use it for communicating?

One thing that I think might help with depression is actually getting what I need to say out there in the world. So here is my unabridged version of my life. No holds back… except for some things along the way.

I’ve been going to therapy recently. I have so far only been to one session, since it only happens once a month. But the act of trying to seek help is working for me. Every time I think about it, it makes me kind of happy to know that I’m on my way to recovery.

So today I went to see a few friends in a production of “West Side Story.” I’m going to say it because I’m sure there are plenty of people who have felt like this. After the show, when I was saying hi to the people I know, part of me, a very small part of me, thought they were only faking being happy to see me. Which is crazy because I know they do like me. But when you’re depressed, these feelings come blasting through my mind like a freight train. I’m the kind of person who likes to be around people for a short amount of time, then spend hours by myself to recharge. I think I may have upset my mom because I went straight to my room when we got home. I’ve done that so many times in the past and every time my mom seems to kind of get resentful. I’m not sure how to explain that I need space sometimes to just be by myself… and not feel guilty about it.

I’ve read somewhere that patterns of speech are side effects of depression. You either speak rather fastly, or slowly. I tend to mumble my words and words don’t come out right when I say them. I used to wish that it was just because I’ve had some kind of small stroke or something. Because then at least it’s a little bit fixable. I’m just crazy.

They say writing can help clear the brain. Well I’m not sure if I entirely believe that. I really should just pick a day to sit and write. Doesn’t matter what, but it’s got to just flow. Maybe I’ll turn that novel that I’m writing into a play. Maybe that will help me visualize what is going on. Maybe it will make more sense as a play. That would actually be pretty cool to make it a play and then turn it in somewhere.

My parents have been wanting me to go back to school to get my master’s degree. But I don’t want to do it because of them. And now it feels like I’m thinking about it because they are forcing me to. My dad gets benefits because he’s a veteran so I can get a discount. But the truth is, I don’t really know if I want to get a master’s in English. Or even Creative Writing. What if I wanted to get a master’s in Theater Arts? I guess I could try that, but that would be harder since I didn’t major in that. I need some solid advice on whether or not I should do it. I just want to get a good job right now that will allow me to move out and pay all my bills. That way I can help fund my novel and start up my publishing company. Which I’m calling “Origins: a publishing company.”

On writing and Young Adult

Here is a post where I discuss why I really like Young Adult fiction.

Lets make everything perfectly clear. I am a 22 year old college graduate from Pacifica, California, which is about a ten minute drive to San Francisco. I graduated with a degree in Creative Writing, and yet I feel totally inadequate compared to most of my classmates. Having taken several classes on writing, I can say that there is a hierarchy when it comes to writing. Everyone tells you that everyone is different and that your writing style is your own. But from sitting in on a bunch of classes where everyone seems to have a better “writing voice” than you, I can say that it feels like a bunch of baloney. When I was younger I used to write a bunch of letters to a family member. The who isn’t really important. But they would always respond back with how my writing feels like I’m talking straight to them. Which is actually how it feels to me whenever I write anything. Anyways, I always feel like I’m competing with some random stranger for how much better I can write. So far, I’m losing.

So in most of my classes, whenever we would have to read a book or talk about authors that influenced us, everyone else’s responses always sounded so sophisticated and mature. Whereas my personal library consisted of books like “Vampire Academy” and “Mortal Instruments.” It always seemed that my reading taste wasn’t as great as my classmates. But then I started to realize that what I read is just as important because it keeps me thinking and they keep my mind entertained. I connect better with Young Adult fiction because I am that confused teenage girl who doesn’t know much and is waiting for her adventure. Just because I don’t absolutely love great literature such as “Pride and Prejudice” or “Jane Eyre” (which are great novels btw) doesn’t mean that I’m any less of a writer or reader fanatic. I will post the short story I submitted for my short story class in the next post, so hopefully you see that I’m not that bad of a writer. I have a while to go before I’m even considered for being published, but at least I will know I’m trying. I worked on that short story for three months and actually got a lot of headway in it. It still needs a lot of work, but I got my goal of having a beginning, middle and end.

I really need to say this. When you think of “Fault In Our Stars” by John Green, I bet your mind goes to the “Okay? Okay” thing. That really bugs me. Sure, the book had some memorable lines, but having a great book doesn’t mean that you have lines of prose that were amazing. The story itself has to propel you into the plot and conflict. We have the memorable lines because we want the book to sell. So you can put it on a tshirt. But most good books shouldn’t need this to give it five stars. I loved “Fault In Our Stars” but the fact that it’s so commercialized because of these gimmicks seems kind of cheap. I’m not sure if anyone else feels the same.

So I started off with the topic of why I love Young Adult fiction. Well, I love it because I can’t get enough of the stories. They may seem like low art, but it makes me happy. So I don’t think anyone should criticize me for that. And just to stop some critics from saying this. No, I didn’t choose to write Young Adult so I can make money. Who gets into writing with the hope of making money? Only people who can’t write.

“Let’s Get Lost” by Adi Alsaid

I just recently read this book called “Lets Get Lost” by Adi Alsaid. It’s about this girl who comes into these different people’s lives and helps them along their journey. Before I go into my review of the story, I want to do something that was really inspired by this book. I’m going to tell you guys my story.

***

My story is that I am technically the middle child. I have two younger twin sisters and two older half siblings. I was raised as an older child, so for the sole purpose of the story, I am the oldest. Now, I know I haven’t really gone into much detail about who I am, outside of this blog, but here is a fair warning. I do block out things when I write that I don’t even realize that I have actually censored out of it. Most of it is because I’m too afraid of upsetting people.

The book “Let’s Get Lost” is one to read over and over again. It’s about finding treasures in a town that probably looks run down. It’s about finding the story within your own life. It’s also about being a friend to someone else. It’s about finding your home, regardless of where it’s located. I don’t want to drag on about this book like I did with my other reviews, because I’ve shown you how this book has affected me. And I literally just finished it yesterday. The title is fitting because it’s not just the literal meaning of being lost, but it also is a symbolism for being lost in your life. This book is a must read for any of you guys who just graduated from college.

I hope you guys keep reading up on my blog, because I’m soon going to start writing more on my novel! =)

Anna and the French Kiss series by Stephanie Perkins

photo (2)

Series rating: 4.5/5

Wow! I just finished “Isla and the Happily Ever After” and man can I just say… I am amazed! This is the biggest example of the type of writing I really would love to put my heart into. Anyways, “Isla…” is a part of the “Anna and the French Kiss” series by Stephanie Perkins. When I first looked into the series, I didn’t even think it was a series. There was no information on the back of the book that said there was a sequel. But each book had elements of the last book.

So here is my non spoiler review:
If you need a book that deals with not being able to come out and say your feelings, this book series is for you. The series starts off with this girl named Anna who goes to a Paris boarding school for her last year of high school. On her first day she meets this really charming and really gorgeous guy named St. Clair. That’s his last name, his first name is Etienne, but everyone calls him St. Clair. The thing about St. Clair is that he already has a girlfriend, but seems to be leading Anna on. It’s quite the little soap opera we have going on here. We are constantly on our toes, wondering how these two love birds will get together. It’s a gooey romantic love story, yes, but it’s conflict is so gripping you can’t help but fall in love with the characters. And hey, it’s set in Paris, so give it some credit. Then “Lola and the Boy Next Door” comes along. We are no longer in Paris, but in San Francisco, California. Lola has some unresolved feelings for the boy next door when he finally moves back. Only problem is, Lola has a boyfriend, who is about five years older than her. The boy next door’s name is Cricket Bell… yeah, THAT Bell. You know, Alexander Graham Bell? The guy who … supposedly… invented the telephone? Well Cricket has a twin sister, Calliope, who is a famous figure skater. Emotions run haywire in this sequel. Definitely a great read. The last installment has the setting back in Paris, where Isla finally gets with her crush, Josh. Unlike the other two books, the two characters fall in love in the beginning of the book, but each character has a weird way of showing that they love the other person. Overall, this book series was very fun to read and didn’t take too long either. I was always on the edge of my seat, hoping that the two characters figure it out.

***Spoilers***

So that ending. I cannot fully comprehend that ending. I was so happy that Anna and Etienne got engaged. Part of me was like, “they’re too young!” but then I realized that they were in love and they knew what they wanted in life. It was the perfect ending. Many people say that “Isla..” took them a while, but it only took me about six hours. I loved the way that sex was brought up in the series. It’s France, the country of love. There was even that part where Isla talks about how her mom was French so there was no stigma on sex. That was really cool. When Lola had a fuss about her wig at the last minute and Cricket was there to help her, that was just … ugh. I was happy when Lola broke up with Max the way she did. Oh and then when she went to apologize and he got that last word? Geez, could you have been a bigger asshole? That part in “Anna..” where Anna kisses St. Claire and then her friends all kind of turn on her was such a big scene for me. I could feel the tension going through Anna. I wanted it to be okay with her friends, because the character of Anna was portrayed very well. One thing I really enjoyed about each book was how the next book looked at the couples who were in the book before. Like how we see Anna and Etienne in “Lola…” As readers, we know the love story between them and we have felt for them. But then we get Lola’s perspective of them as a couple and how these characters intertwine. Especially at the end of “Isla…” when they’re all at the pizza joint. Somehow I didn’t really feel like they were all connected until that very last moment. They became background players to the real love story going on, and then we’re reminded that it is a series. Each book doesn’t read like it is in a trilogy. You can pick up any of these three books in any order and not be confused. Which is different, but it was still a really good series. I’m glad that I got my own copies of these books, because they look really good on my bookshelf. Also, I work at a movie theater… which was cool to read about characters who also work at movie theaters.

********

That was my attempt at a review. When I finish a book series, or sometimes just a really good book, I always want to talk about it with someone. At least here I can talk about it uninterrupted. There will be another writing exercise sometime soon. I’m still slightly sick, so yeah.

~ Jillian

Writing Exercise part 4

Okay, so I haven’t posted an update on my story yet. However, I would like to take this chance to maybe start some conversation between me and whoever reads this blog. I have been really anxious about not making it in life. What if I don’t get my dream job? What if I don’t gain any skills outside of working a concession stand in a theater? Truth be told, I really don’t have any idea what it’s like to have an office job. But lets be honest. I’m only 22 years old. I have my whole life ahead of me. And whether or not that is spent working at a theater, or working in a really cool publishing company, that is entirely up to me. I have to get my life in order. I watch a lot of How I Met Your Mother… rather excessively. And one thing I love about the show is how they are really close and it feels like they have more independence than I do. Which is correct since I still live with my mom. Which brings me to my next topic: suburban or urban.

I’ve always held a high respect for Pacifica. It’s such a small town, but it’s very beautiful. It’s really a beautiful place to live. However, you can’t do much outside of go to the beach over here. In college I lived on campus, which was located in SF. I was always near the Muni station, so transportation anywhere in SF was great. Living in Pacifica, however, you find yourself isolated. You either have friends who can be your designated driver, or you don’t drink at all. Most of these days I only get the opportunity to drink with people who are obviously older than me and have more experience than me. I come from a very sheltered family. During high school, I didn’t go out much outside of club events and family outings. I never got that rebellious phase. I never drank in high school, mainly because the friends that I did have weren’t big on going to parties. Or even inviting me to them. So when college came around, I was in for a little bit of a shock. I never really got the chance to train myself how to hold down even a cup of wine. I hate the taste of wine or champagne, but if I have it, I start feeling the effects faster than most people. So living in an urban setting would be ideal for the fact that I could go out drinking and not have to worry so much about having a designated driver. And yet living in the suburbs is fun because you don’t really get to hear all that noise.

****

We’re moving. Daniel is holding me by my wrists, towards some unseen-able destination. I’m afraid to move in his grasp. What if he’s a serial killer and wants to throw me down the hill? I stay still as he drags me across the concrete. After a few minutes, we stop. Daniel moves in front of me, his breathe blowing through my hair. My eyes are trying to search for any type of light that it can get in the little cracks in the handkerchief. Daniel is standing so close to me that I feel his chest move as he speaks.

“Do you trust me?” he asks.

I am floored. What am I supposed to say? I’ve known him for a month now, and I can honestly say that I’m kind of confused at the moment. Part of me wants to trust him, but what if he just breaks my heart? What if this is some ploy to get in my pants? Instead of saying what I wanted to say, which was an honest, “I don’t know,” I said the one thing that was probably the dumbest thing I said as of yet.

“Yes.”

I feel Daniel’s hands go around me in a hug. His lips meet the side of my cheek. In a few seconds, he moves away from me. He pulls me forward a little bit. He takes the handkerchief off. My eyes adjust for a second, taking in the light. I blink and then all of a sudden I hear, “SURPRISE!!” A crowd of my friends are standing around the community hall.

****

Okay, so that was nothing really, but I think what I want to do is plant the seed that Daniel seems normal, but really, he is crazy. But that crazy will somehow change near the end. Anyways, I should get going. Thanks for reading! Please feel free to comment on anything I have written, and if you just want to say hey, that’s fine too.

~ Jillian