Why me??? Why me???

Why is it that terrible people can find someone to love and I can never truly catch a break? Am I not attractive enough? Come on! There are people much bigger than I am who are getting together with people. And why should I even care? I guess to answer that question, maybe I should look inside myself and try to love myself. But so many other people who think they are a piece of trash find someone right away. Every time I somehow think someone is into me, it all falls down the drain. Cause guess what? They weren’t really that into me. I know that maybe I should pursue better people and that I should stop waiting for the guy. But how many hints do I have to drop? I’m friggin’ interested!

Anyways, besides my little rant about my non existent love life, I really don’t have enough to say. I’m so exhausted from working all week. I essentially only had one day off this week since I am in a musical and had to perform on Sunday. Plus, I’m sick and I really can’t rest. And my sleep deprived mind wants me to talk about this topic that I’ve been dreading talking about since I left work. I don’t want to seem bitter or angry, since what I say here may cost me a job. But here it goes.

I got a raise… finally. After working at the movie theaters for two and a half years, I got a decent raise. I had one raise of 15 cents before the minimum wage increased to $9. I was supposed to have three other raises, but those never went into effect. So today the GM told me I got a raise that was effective from last Friday. Of 50 cents. But here’s the thing I’m kind of mad about. A co worker, who is male, got a raise of 75 cents… and he’s only worked at the theater for only three months. Tell me how that is even fair? Maybe he has shown me up in workmanship. But the GM knows my predicament. So he should at least compensate and maybe have given me the same amount of wage increase. I would hate to find out that it’s because I’m a girl. Actually…. the blow would hurt less if that was the case. Because I already hate myself for being such a lazy ass.

I didn’t want to talk about this because apparently future employers look at all social media in order to determine whether or not you are a good employee. Which sort of sucks, because that is censoring any revolutionary bone you have in your body. Sometimes it’s okay to rant about troubles at work. No job is perfect.

Anyways, I recently got an internship as a Blog Extraordinaire for Super Interns. It’s not paid, but any experience works. I’m nervous, because what if I’m not up to it? I’m a lazy writer who wants the rewards without the work. Which is why I love performing because at least then I feel like I’m doing something. Before I get into performing, if you are looking for an internship, go to http://www.superinterns.com.

Since I didn’t get into How To Succeed or Hairspray, it looks like I’ll be spending the next three months with nothing but work. I try to convince myself that it’s a chance to maybe put out some more resumes and gain more experience, but who am I kidding? I’m extremely disappointed that I won’t be in a musical after this run of High Spirits. I am so afraid of the ending of this musical that I really have to stop and take a deep breathe whenever I think about it. I will prevail though. I haven’t always been so extremely engrossed in musicals. I used to excel at doing nothing.

Now that I got that off my chest, everything feels a whole lot better. I hope everyone else is doing good. I hope to finish the Doctor Who book soon, so I can write my review.

jillian

Here was my headshot for Pirates of Penzance. Taken by Michael Lodick.

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